Every year during Conch
Republic Days, in mid-April,
the battle between the
Conch Republic Navy and
the U.S. Coast Guard is
commemorated.
This begins as a boat
parade of the Conch
Republic Navy, starting with
the ships of the line, the
schooners, and other tall
ships, followed by the
smaller privateers. Every
year the evil forces of the
United States attacks the
peaceful Conch Republic
boat parade with water cannon from a Coast Guard cutter. And the battle is on.
Battle protocol dictates that the only acceptable ammunition in this battle shall be: water and
soft food. "Soft food" leaves a lot of room for imagination and creativity. It gets messy. This is
certainly the biggest food fight in the history of the United States and the Conch Republic - It
becomes a free-for-all, with everybody attacking everybody else. Did I say, "Messy?"
The Conch Republic Air Force also joins in the battle, bombarding the Coast Guard, and
everybody else, with toilet paper.
Battle protocol dictates that the only acceptable ammunition in this battle shall be: water and
soft food. "Soft food" leaves a lot of room for imagination and creativity. It gets messy. This is
certainly the biggest food fight in the history of the United States and the Conch Republic - It
becomes a free-for-all, with everybody attacking everybody else. Did I say, "Messy?"
The Conch Republic Air Force also joins in the battle, bombarding the Coast Guard, and
everybody else, with toilet paper.
| The Great Sea Battle |