| In 2004, a Buxom Wench contest was held at the Hog's Breath Saloon. One of the contestants in the contest was Allison Hathaway, daughter of USCG Rear Admiral Jeffrey Hathaway, One of the judges was Conch Republic Admiral Finbar Gittelman. As Allison was finishing her number, Admiral Finbar told her to stay there for a moment. He then told the story of the Conch Republic's secession from the United States, and the million dollar reparation, which had never been paid. He then said we were taking miss Hathaway prisoner and holding her for the million dollars as ransom. I drew my sword and took her into custody, holding her at an undisclosed location on a boat that I was selling her. Admiral Finbar then sent Admiral Hathaway a ransom letter demanding that the million dollars be paid, that very evening, at eight p.m., on the stage of the Schooner Wharf Bar. However, he reasoned, that since this was a rather short time to come up with a million dollars, we would settle for a case of rum. At eight o'clock that evening the Admiral's sedan pulled up behind Schooner Wharf. Admiral Hathaway got out, in full dress whites. His Aide got out, and, from the back seat, took out a case of Military Special rum. Admiral Finbar, in full dress whites, awaited him on the stage. Admiral Finbar assured Admiral Hathaway that his daughter had been treated with the utmost respect and consideration. Admiral Hathaway gave Admiral Finbar the case of rum and his daughter was redeemed. Admiral Finbar took a bottle of rum and asked Admiral Hathaway, "Now, will you drink with me?" He took a swig, Admiral Hathaway took a swig and then passed the bottle around. We got our satisfaction, but should have been more specific when we asked for the case of rum. That was the worst rotgut rum we ehad ever tasted, and there is probably still some of that rum on board the schooner Wolf becausa no one wants to finish it. |
Allison
Finbar